Italese, vol. 9

Little known fact: "Where's Waldo?" was originally the Italian "Dové Dildo?"

Well known sayings, the ORIGINAL versions, vol. 2377

If you love someone, set them free.
If they come back to you... then, you've got them right where you want them!

Poker anyone?

Gladiator?
I'm not even glad I met her!

Coming unglued

As seen on the label of a bottle of industrial-strength glue: "suitable for outdoor use"
So that's means what? ...like, gluing a squirrel to a tree?
-contributed by Jeffrey Mo

poem of the day

world's shortest poem denouncing rice dishes as a viable meal suggestion:

Pilaf?
Don't make milaf.

2 Dudes at the bar, chapter 1

overheard at the bar...
"Dude, that waitress was ALL OVER ME!"
"Dude, she probably just wants the tip."
"Dude, I think she wants the whole penis!"

aussie logic, vol. 1

"Throw some shrimp on the barbie" - refers to BBQ shrimp

"Throw some barbies on the shrimp" - refers to a short australian guy having a threesome with 2 girls

Forza Italia

You can't spell "genitalia" without "italia"

Question of the Month for August 2009

What do you call 10,000 Nickelback CDs at the bottom of Lake Ontario?

No, but seriously: what do you call it? I'm filling out a work order.

Jokes with no Punchline, Vol. 1

So a quadriplegic walks into a bar...

You can fool some of the people some of the time

"The oldest trick in the book" still works on illiterates.

T-Shirt Slogans for Morons, vol. 2

"HONK IF YOU LOVE CAR HORNS"

Little Know Facts, Vol. 871

LITTLE KNOWN FACT # 808:

1 in 10 orgies involve at least one confused but pleasantly surprised dyslexic ogre.

Etiquette Haikus, vol. 1

If you ever come across
A woman in a white dress,
You won't have to wipe it off.

lucky o'hare

Little Known Fact #757:
Rabbits often carry a Leprechaun foot on their keychains for good luck.

T-Shirt Slogans for Morons, vol. 1

I don't understand why everything has to be so confusing.

dreamline, vol. 9

I have this recurring dream where I'm at a karaoke bar, and Borat is there performing, but he just keeps singing "Throw the Giulio down the well, so my country can be free..."
What could it mean?

optimist/pessimist vol. 12

Said the optimist to the pessimist:
"If we turn back now, we're halfway there"