optimism, vol. 111: fun with fractions

If you can *ALMOST* convince ONE GIRL to have sex with you,
you're already HALFWAY to a THREEWAY!

(props to Jimmy O'Rourke, of course.)

Ratlantic Tails

Little Known Fact #9192:
There is no public trash collection in the Canadian Maritime provinces!
Instead of dragging their trash to the curb, they let in pile up in their garage.
Then, when their garage is full, they just put up a sign that says "Antiques".

sludge factory

LITTLE KNOWN FACTS #429:
McDonalds was forced to change the name of their Shamrock Shake because it contained no real Shamrocks. To solve the problem, they purchased Mike Myers, created a series of movies named after the sound made by the shake dispenser, then non-chalantly introduced the renamed "Swampwater Sludge McFlurry" beverage in time to promote the third movie instalment. When asked by reporters: "What if they ask you to rename it again because it's not really swampwater sludge?", Ronald winked and replied "trust me, not a problem."

Gedi Mind Tricks vol. 1

ok, think of something.
NOW I WILL READ YOUR MIND!...
you're thinking...

"There's NO WAY he knows what I'm thinking"

EXCELSIOR!

why scottish people don't like motorcycles

Doctor's Almanac - Vol. 24

bagpipes: a condition caused by riding a motorcycle while wearing a kilt