Thursday, December 18, 2014

Keurig: Making the Perfect Cup of Coffee

Normally I prefer espresso, as you may have gleaned from previous posts... but since my office recently installed a Keurig instant coffee dispenser, I decided to find it out if it is indeed possible to coerce a decent cup of coffee out of this machine.

The good news is: with just a few tweaks to the manufacturer's recommended guidelines, you CAN in fact get a delicious cup of coffee out of a Keurig machine.

Here's how, in 5 easy steps, with pictures.

1. Open the lid of the Keurig machine.

2. Insert the desired K-Cup. MAKE SURE to use an 'unflavoured' or otherwise unembellished coffee flavour. (i.e. "dark roast" is good. "hazelnut caramel vanilla pumpkin spice" is bad.)

3. Insert 1, 2 or 3 Golden Oreo cookies on top of the inserted K-Cup. (suit to taste)

4.  Close the lid and press the button to brew!

5. Voila... after some grinding and spluttering, beverage and cup are dispensed onto the tray. Enjoy!

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

The Kris Kringle Conundrum: SOLVED!

It happens every year...

You have to buy a 'Kris Kringle' gift for a colleague.

Not sure what to get... don't want to take a risk... or waste a lot of time... or spend too much money... so you're thinking: Gift Card?

But that's so impersonal... and no fun at all... what a cop out! Also, they will immediately know HOW MUCH YOU THINK THEY ARE WORTH.

You could "try" to get them something they actually like... but you will likely fail -- and what's worse, you won't KNOW if you failed, because they'll be gracious.

Of course you could just ASK THEM what to get, but that's even more of a cop out, and then you lose the fun of the SURPRISE!

If only there was an EASY way to get them something they WANT, while also SURPRISING them,  while NOT GIVING AWAY how much you spent, and with 100% CONFIDENCE of success...


The Kris Kringle Conundrum Quick-Fix™
©2014 Giulio Quaglieri - PATENT PENDING

  1. SELECT A STORE that the Recipient may shop at.
    If you know of a favourite, great! If not, just pick any department store.
    It should be easy to come up with how much the recipient is worth to you.
  3. This is the fun part: GO TO THAT STORE and find the STUPIDEST, UGLIEST, MOST USELESS items you can buy for the amount you plan to spend.
  4. GET A GIFT RECEIPT! This is the most important step. If you skip this step, the whole plan falls apart.

So now, without going over budget, you have a personalized unique surprise gift that is fun to give and receive and does not show dollar value... and the Gift Receipt means that it can be traded for something they really wanted!

In other words... for the Giver: all of the benefits of the gift card, but without the drawbacks! And for the Receiver: the trip to store carrying all that stupid junk you wrapped up ensures your gift will be appreciated and not easily forgotten.

And that, my friends, is my Christmas Gift to all of you.

Merry Christmas,

P.S. Don't forget your Christmas Cards!

xmas gift ideas for her, #276

last-minute gift idea for the high-maintenance gal in your life: custom paired "Huggs" Boots! (one foot Hunter boot + one foot Uggs boot)
You're welcome.

Don't forget to use one "left" and one "right".
and don't forget the card:

Friday, November 14, 2014

Don't Halve A Cow Man

Dairy Farmer's Tip of the Day: If you ordain a cow prior to milking it, the milk comes out already pastorized.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

How I Learned Vowels At The Shopping Mall

Once in a while I get a bill from American Eagle, and I think: "AE? IOU?" And if I can't remember what I bought there, then sometimes "Y?"

Friday, July 18, 2014

"Born to be Mild"

Get your motor idling
And avoid the highway
Hiding from adventure
So that nothing comes our way
Yeah Darlin just let it happen
Buckle seat belts just in case
Holster all of your guns at once
and keep emotion from face

Don't like smoke or lightning
or not even thunder
Screening from the wind
With the windscreen that I'm under
Yeah Darlin just let it happen
Bring an umbrella just in case
Keep all your savings in GICs and
put some sunscreen on your face

Like a true neutral child
We were born, born to be mild
We don't climb too high
Cuz someday, we're gonna die

Born to be mild...

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The True Origin of Hockey

"We must put a stop this damned soccer the kids are always playing! Go tell them that if they don't stop playing soccer, we'll drag them from that beautiful sunny field and throw them in a frozen meat locker, where they'll sweep the floor until their brooms are bent and bristle-less and the floor is so shiny you could skate on it! If they're STILL trying to play soccer after that, I'll take that damn soccer ball and flatten it into a puck!"

Sunday, June 01, 2014

Who's YOUR daddy?

Thoughts on Dads

When you're a kid, your dad is superman, he seems invincible.

Then one day when you're a teen, YOU feel like Superman, you start to feel invincible... and you realize your dad is just some ordinary guy, and you're disappointed in him.

Then when YOU become a dad, you see how hard it is to appear invincible, and then you get it:

Dad was an ordinary guy who started with less than you and did extraordinary things to appear like more than you, in order to make you better than him, so it would be a little easier for you to be superman.

Thanks Dad.

Happy Father's Day

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Conundrum of the Day: The Monkey & The Horse

Little Known Fact #4915: Thanks to common cliché, when a monkey fails to ride a horse, both animals become trapped in an infinite loop. (The monkey keeps trying to get back on that horse, but the horse keeps trying to get the monkey off its back.)

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Double Buck Pancakes

here's a healthy alternative to "traditional" pancakes...
Doube Buck Pancakes
- replace white flour with Buckwheat flour
- replace maple syrup with Buckley's Mixture

Goes great with a Lucky 13!