Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Italese, vol. 9

Little known fact: "Where's Waldo?" was originally the Italian "Dové Dildo?"

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Well known sayings, the ORIGINAL versions, vol. 2377

If you love someone, set them free.
If they come back to you... then, you've got them right where you want them!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Poker anyone?

I'm not even glad I met her!

Monday, November 09, 2009

Coming unglued

As seen on the label of a bottle of industrial-strength glue: "suitable for outdoor use"
So that's means what? ...like, gluing a squirrel to a tree?
-contributed by Jeffrey Mo

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

poem of the day

world's shortest poem denouncing rice dishes as a viable meal suggestion:

Don't make milaf.

Monday, October 19, 2009

2 Dudes at the bar, chapter 1

overheard at the bar...
"Dude, that waitress was ALL OVER ME!"
"Dude, she probably just wants the tip."
"Dude, I think she wants the whole penis!"

Saturday, September 26, 2009

aussie logic, vol. 1

"Throw some shrimp on the barbie" - refers to BBQ shrimp

"Throw some barbies on the shrimp" - refers to a short australian guy having a threesome with 2 girls

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Forza Italia

You can't spell "genitalia" without "italia"

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Question of the Month for August 2009

What do you call 10,000 Nickelback CDs at the bottom of Lake Ontario?

No, but seriously: what do you call it? I'm filling out a work order.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Jokes with no Punchline, Vol. 1

So a quadriplegic walks into a bar...

Thursday, August 13, 2009

You can fool some of the people some of the time

"The oldest trick in the book" still works on illiterates.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Little Know Facts, Vol. 871


1 in 10 orgies involve at least one confused but pleasantly surprised dyslexic ogre.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Etiquette Haikus, vol. 1

If you ever come across
A woman in a white dress,
You won't have to wipe it off.

Saturday, June 06, 2009

lucky o'hare

Little Known Fact #757:
Rabbits often carry a Leprechaun foot on their keychains for good luck.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

T-Shirt Slogans for Morons, vol. 1

I don't understand why everything has to be so confusing.

Monday, March 09, 2009

dreamline, vol. 9

I have this recurring dream where I'm at a karaoke bar, and Borat is there performing, but he just keeps singing "Throw the Giulio down the well, so my country can be free..."
What could it mean?

Thursday, January 29, 2009

optimist/pessimist vol. 12

Said the optimist to the pessimist:
"If we turn back now, we're halfway there"