Friday, July 18, 2014

"Born to be Mild"

Get your motor idling
And avoid the highway
Hiding from adventure
So that nothing comes our way
Yeah Darlin just let it happen
Buckle seat belts just in case
Holster all of your guns at once
and keep emotion from face

Don't like smoke or lightning
or not even thunder
Screening from the wind
With the windscreen that I'm under
Yeah Darlin just let it happen
Bring an umbrella just in case
Keep all your savings in GICs and
put some sunscreen on your face

Like a true neutral child
We were born, born to be mild
We don't climb too high
Cuz someday, we're gonna die

Born to be mild...

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The True Origin of Hockey

"We must put a stop this damned soccer the kids are always playing! Go tell them that if they don't stop playing soccer, we'll drag them from that beautiful sunny field and throw them in a frozen meat locker, where they'll sweep the floor until their brooms are bent and bristle-less and the floor is so shiny you could skate on it! If they're STILL trying to play soccer after that, I'll take that damn soccer ball and flatten it into a puck!"